Why we decided to try
When you find out your pregnant I think many women have a lot of things run through their mind. "Am I really pregnant? I AM PREGNANT? What was I thinking? Am I ready to be a mom? I'm nothing like my mom..." etc.
It's kind of weird because all of a sudden your identity has changed. I'm no longer going to be Kaili. I'm going to be whatever my kid's name is, mom. I'm not going to just be a college student anymore. I'm not going to be just an employee anymore. I'm going to be a Mom. Which in all honesty is the scariest and most exhilarating feeling I've had up to this point.
The reason I'm explaining the sensation is because it's something that I chose to experience. Riley and I both decided that it was time to try to be parents. It wasn't an easy decision. It was something that had many hours of prayer, fasting and temple attendance attached to it. It was something that we were preparing for since we were engaged.
Let me explain that last part. While Riley and I were engaged we were waiting to do baptisms at the Provo Temple. While we were waiting I had the weirdest feeling that we had to talk about when we were going to have kids. The wedding was three months away and that's an intimidating topic for any one. I chose to try to ignore it...bad idea.
45 minutes later I finally told Riley my impression. He actually took it rather well. That's when we started talking about and trying to decide when we were supposed to have children.
We both had a plan, and in all honesty I still like my plans even though I know better. Our initial thought was that having a child would be best after we were done with our bachelor degrees. Makes sense. We would be done with the first part of our education and we would be more financially prepared. I'd also have more time with our child so logically it made sense.
But it felt wrong. After discussing it and having some additional spiritual promptings we realized that we could not plan when we would have our child. Instead we needed to start preparing and be very open minded. We needed the Lord to tell us when we were supposed to have our child whether that was shortly after we were married or it was years from now.
As you can imagine it's much easier said than done. Once we were married we had to worry about many more things than when we were single. There were bills, we had to clean everything by ourselves, we had to learn to live together. It's really fun but it is stressful. Being able to have the faith necessary for us to listen to the Lord, especially when deciding to add a child to the mix of life, was very hard for me to develop.
However desire and faith do prepare you for something that you can't fathom. I know I'm going to be reminded of that throughout my life. Once we got the prompting, and it was seriously a prompting, there was no big revelation at first, that we needed to ask the Lord if we were supposed to have children we really were ready for any answer. Once we asked there was a very personal spiritual confirmation that happened with both of us and we knew it was time to try to bring someone into our family.
It happened much faster then we were expecting. It only took us two months to conceive which made it more surreal for me. That whole night was weird because I just knew I was pregnant. I knew it. But I didn't want to be wrong and didn't want to be right. Good times.
This type of decision is different for everyone and I know I'm only at the beginning of a huge roller coaster. I'm just glad that Riley and I are both on the same ride and excited to be there.
Have a great day!
It's kind of weird because all of a sudden your identity has changed. I'm no longer going to be Kaili. I'm going to be whatever my kid's name is, mom. I'm not going to just be a college student anymore. I'm not going to be just an employee anymore. I'm going to be a Mom. Which in all honesty is the scariest and most exhilarating feeling I've had up to this point.
The reason I'm explaining the sensation is because it's something that I chose to experience. Riley and I both decided that it was time to try to be parents. It wasn't an easy decision. It was something that had many hours of prayer, fasting and temple attendance attached to it. It was something that we were preparing for since we were engaged.
Let me explain that last part. While Riley and I were engaged we were waiting to do baptisms at the Provo Temple. While we were waiting I had the weirdest feeling that we had to talk about when we were going to have kids. The wedding was three months away and that's an intimidating topic for any one. I chose to try to ignore it...bad idea.
45 minutes later I finally told Riley my impression. He actually took it rather well. That's when we started talking about and trying to decide when we were supposed to have children.
We both had a plan, and in all honesty I still like my plans even though I know better. Our initial thought was that having a child would be best after we were done with our bachelor degrees. Makes sense. We would be done with the first part of our education and we would be more financially prepared. I'd also have more time with our child so logically it made sense.
But it felt wrong. After discussing it and having some additional spiritual promptings we realized that we could not plan when we would have our child. Instead we needed to start preparing and be very open minded. We needed the Lord to tell us when we were supposed to have our child whether that was shortly after we were married or it was years from now.
As you can imagine it's much easier said than done. Once we were married we had to worry about many more things than when we were single. There were bills, we had to clean everything by ourselves, we had to learn to live together. It's really fun but it is stressful. Being able to have the faith necessary for us to listen to the Lord, especially when deciding to add a child to the mix of life, was very hard for me to develop.
However desire and faith do prepare you for something that you can't fathom. I know I'm going to be reminded of that throughout my life. Once we got the prompting, and it was seriously a prompting, there was no big revelation at first, that we needed to ask the Lord if we were supposed to have children we really were ready for any answer. Once we asked there was a very personal spiritual confirmation that happened with both of us and we knew it was time to try to bring someone into our family.
It happened much faster then we were expecting. It only took us two months to conceive which made it more surreal for me. That whole night was weird because I just knew I was pregnant. I knew it. But I didn't want to be wrong and didn't want to be right. Good times.
This type of decision is different for everyone and I know I'm only at the beginning of a huge roller coaster. I'm just glad that Riley and I are both on the same ride and excited to be there.
Have a great day!
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