I'm an awesome Mom

I keep seeing these posts with shocking titles that are meant to make you click on them with the sole purpose of ripping the writer a new one (I never understood that phrase but I wanted to type it, so there). I also see posts that have self depreciating titles and although they usually contain a message of hope, there is so much truth and support behind the idea that we're not good enough.

Well I'm here to tell you that I'm an awesome mom. I don't say this sarcastically or with arrogance, I say this honestly. There is no one in this world who loves my son more than I do, and there is no one in this world who will work smarter just to make sure that he is taken care of.

Why am I awesome?

I am a crazy person. I informed God that he is first in my life and I will do as he says. He told me to have a baby while I was in the middle of my bachelor's degree and Riley was looking at medical schools. We said OK and here is our little baby bear...

After we had him we went down a path that would have been significantly easier if he wasn't with us yet. I started my own company, quit my day job, and Riley was taking a lot more classes. On top of all of this I started having medical issues that made it difficult to do anything, let alone take care of a baby. 

Yes, it would have been way easier to go through these things without Jax, but if I didn't have him through this it would be much more difficult to be emotionally strong enough to persevere and not lose myself to the pain.

But back to the important stuff...

I'm an awesome mom. I'm an awesome mom because my son deserves it. He deserves a mother who loves who she is and takes care of herself. He deserves a mother who loves God and makes him present in her home at all times. He deserves a mother who respects his father and shows him that respect everyday. 

I'm an awesome mom because I will never settle. I will never say "I am now enough". I will never be satisfied in this life at my ability to make him happy. My son deserves the best, and I'm going to give him mine.

Will I be perfect? Absolutely not. Will I do my best to be perfect for my children? Absolutely. My mother did that for me, and now that I'm older I have a better idea of how difficult that is. 

Jax introduced me to a part of my soul that I didn't know existed. The moment I saw him I was totally overwhelmed by the amount of love I felt for him. I had no idea that I was capable of that love, and it was changed me in a way that nothing else could. 

I am enough

I know this won't always be the case, but how grateful I am that I am enough for my son. Even though I can't hold him all the time or play with him as much as he wants me to, he always gives me the biggest smiles. He's always happy to see me. It doesn't matter if I look terrible or haven't worked out or have been bawling all day, he always wants mommy. At this point in his life I can do no wrong and let me tell you I will not ignore that blessing.

I know that when I falter or am not good enough others will step in, especially God. Thank heaven!

Oh yeah...btw my husband took this YouTube video of Jax having a laughing fit. It's adorable, especially if you already enjoy baby videos.