What Does it Mean to Live?
I had an experience with a woman in my class today. She had come in incredibly upset, this had not been the week for her. In fact, it hadn't been the life for her. She was an older single mother, back at school, and had just gotten bad news on top of bad news. Her cancer was effecting her in more and more ways, and it had really gotten to her.
No one blamed her for being upset. She had just gotten a spinal tap that confirmed that her brain was swelling. She was so upset. Who could blame her? I'd be pissed.
After the initial emotion passed she started explaining what her real dilemma was. She had to get shunts in her brain, radiation, and by extension, be on bed rest for a long time. She said, "I've already had to give up my career for this disease...I told my doctor that I didn't care if I lost limbs, he had to keep me in school...I need something."
There was more to it, but my first thought was, "Really? This is your life, you would put it at risk just to be in school?"
While I was walking to my car, I was able to ponder on it a bit more. I realized that if the only thing that you have is your disease, and dealing with it, what would be the point? If going to school is what made her feel like she was doing something with her life, then there would be no reason good enough to give that up.
It makes me wonder what I hold on to when there seems to be nothing to keep me going, what thing, person, or belief sustains someone when there is little motivation to keep going. I'm not afraid of death, I personally believe it will be a joyous experience, but I don't want to die any time soon.
I don't have the answers. Any time I've gotten depressed, or had that dreaded feeling that nothing will get better, I've turned to God. Others I know have turned to loved ones, their spouse, child, parent, etc. People have also turned to careers, ambitions, knowledge, travel, adrenaline, so many things.
None of these are bad, I just hope that people are following and pursuing what they feel gives them purpose, no matter what it is (with the exception of serial killers, I would hope that no one reading this is :).
Life is an amazing phenomenon that we all get to experience. I treasure these interactions with people, it helps me realign my life in the way that I want it to be.
No one blamed her for being upset. She had just gotten a spinal tap that confirmed that her brain was swelling. She was so upset. Who could blame her? I'd be pissed.
After the initial emotion passed she started explaining what her real dilemma was. She had to get shunts in her brain, radiation, and by extension, be on bed rest for a long time. She said, "I've already had to give up my career for this disease...I told my doctor that I didn't care if I lost limbs, he had to keep me in school...I need something."
There was more to it, but my first thought was, "Really? This is your life, you would put it at risk just to be in school?"
While I was walking to my car, I was able to ponder on it a bit more. I realized that if the only thing that you have is your disease, and dealing with it, what would be the point? If going to school is what made her feel like she was doing something with her life, then there would be no reason good enough to give that up.
It makes me wonder what I hold on to when there seems to be nothing to keep me going, what thing, person, or belief sustains someone when there is little motivation to keep going. I'm not afraid of death, I personally believe it will be a joyous experience, but I don't want to die any time soon.
I don't have the answers. Any time I've gotten depressed, or had that dreaded feeling that nothing will get better, I've turned to God. Others I know have turned to loved ones, their spouse, child, parent, etc. People have also turned to careers, ambitions, knowledge, travel, adrenaline, so many things.
None of these are bad, I just hope that people are following and pursuing what they feel gives them purpose, no matter what it is (with the exception of serial killers, I would hope that no one reading this is :).
Life is an amazing phenomenon that we all get to experience. I treasure these interactions with people, it helps me realign my life in the way that I want it to be.
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