Life Lessons from 2014

At the ring of the New Year I'm usually apathetic. It's just another year. Life will still be fun but difficult. Have challenges and joys. Bring experiences and trials. The New Year is just another reason to throw a party.

The reason this year was different was because 2014 was the worst year of my life so far. When my friends and I did the toast at midnight, mine was, "thank heaven that 2014 is over, it sucked". Sadly I got a couple amens to that one.

This past year my plans were not only thrown out the window, but they shattered on the ground, were picked up and painstakingly put back together, then a crazy guy with a flamethrower came in and melted them past all recognition.

I was in constant pain for the first eight months of the year and then had to deal with the financial realities of going to the hospital a way too often and owning your own business. I also had to deal the emotional and spiritual toll to mine and Riley's relationship.

The funny thing is that I thought that Jax would be the most difficult part of 2014 but for some reason he was the highlight.

Now I'm not an optimistic person by nature, but as I write this post I am forced to reflect upon the positive things as well.

Lessons

With the pain came great patience and unwilling strength. I was able to find out that I'm not as much of a wuss as I thought I was, and I can withstand a great amount of pain.

I learned that I treat relationships as situations, for example, in an argument I look at it as a battle, and I don't look at the person I'm arguing with.

My love for Jax has only grown and I'm realizing that I'm barely beginning to understand what it means to be a mother.

God has made it clear that he has a plan for me, one that I was originally kicking and screaming as he dragged me there, but now I feel like I'm doing a half-hearted shuffle behind him.

I have better friends and family than I deserve. The level of love and help that our family has received this year has been overwhelming and caused many happy tears.

My pride is a big problem. My inability to ask for help made things more difficult than they needed to be, but the humbling process will hopefully allow me to do better in the future.

I have no idea what love is. I thought I knew when I got married, but I have no idea. I'm constantly learning and relearning what it means to love my husband.

Starting my own business was insane. Completely insane. However, because of the experience I've had, I'm now being seriously considered at some great companies for the position I've always wanted.

God knows what he's doing.


So thank you 2014 for the lessons you taught me. I am so freaking glad we're over.