Finding a New Source of Validation

I'm realizing that I'm an incredibly needy person. I'm one of those people that can conquer the completely logistical things in life but as far as emotional things go, I'm as needy as my two-year-old. This isn't a great place to be right now and the time has come for me to change that.

As I have pondered where my life if right now I have seen issues that have cropped up my entire life. Even though I'm a confident person in certain spheres I'm insecure in others. I'm one of those people who constantly need validation. My self value and worth often come from specific people in my life. Since there have been those that have abused that power, it has become clear to me that I need to make a major shift. My self worth should only be controlled by me, not by someone else.

That's great but how do I do that?

I've had this realization before. I've seen it in past relationships and even as a mother. The biggest difference is now I don't have an option to do it any other way. My happiness needs to depend on me and no one else. One of the facts of life is that people are fickle. If I continue to base my sense of worth on how others see me then my life is going to be 100 times harder than it has to be.

So how do I do that? How do I change the source? This isn't a new issue, this has been going on my entire life. How do I have the change of heart I need to be able to look in the mirror and by happy with where I am in spite of the chaos that is happening around me?

The first step is to realize that the only person who matters is Heavenly Father. For one thing he is not fickle, for another he absolutely loves me. He is able to see things about myself that I can't for good and for bad. Not only can he tell me how to improve, but he can do so in a way that is meant to heal me not hurt me.

God and the Atonement is so essential for a change of heart no matter what the goal is. It makes sense that he could help me see my self worth and be able to tune out the people and things that want me to feel less valuable than I am. There is no better source than the one who died for me.

Umm...this isn't easy

Of course it's not. The fact is that I'm human. The fact is that there are people in my life who can shatter me with one word. Luckily most of these people never would, but life is teaching me that the people who loved you the most are also capable of destroying you. Why should I give any one that kind of power over me?

Logically speaking I shouldn't. Logically speaking I should be able to walk away and put that person out of my heart and mind without any issue. However when you learn to depend on any one to tell you that you're worth it, logic is thrown out the window. 

Sure there are things that can help. A pep talk in the morning, writing down the great things about you, an empowerment song, work with a therapist, and being aware that you're not perfect. That's not enough though. God has to be first so he can tell you that you're worth and you can believe him. Go to the temple, read your scriptures, read your patriarchal blessing, and do what he has asked you to do without fear of retribution from mere mortals. 

This is something I'll be working on for awhile. In the meantime I'm doing what I need to do to make sure that God is first in my life. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I can push aside hurtful things from the people the people that I love and focus on what God thinks of me instead of them.