A Quiet Moment
Both kids are taking a nap right now, but I can't take a nap quite yet because Lily's feeding is in a few minutes. I haven't slept well these past two nights. Lily's nose has been stuffed up and Jax has been waking up crying and needs his mommy to hug him until he goes back to sleep. In the mean time my divorce isn't over yet, I'm still in school full time, and have a big interview this week.
Quiet does not happen. Even when it does I take those few moments to clean or just brush my teeth. It's amazing how good brushing your teeth feels when you don't have a toddler hanging on your leg or are bouncing a baby in her seat.
Something interesting has been happening though. When Lily came home from the NICU I was incredibly overwhelmed. Here was this baby hooked up to oxygen and a chest monitor that needed me more than anything. Then here was my toddler who has been struggling and now has this whole other change (as if he didn't have enough) and needed me more than anything too. The idea that I could take care of two kids by myself was laughable. I couldn't even begin to imagine how to get back on a schedule with Jax or even with me. Thankfully I have a great family who stepped up and helped me with my kids while I was still reeling.
Finally something clicked. I was able to give Jax a bath, take care of Lily, AND get ready for the day without any help from my family. I could soothe my baby while playing cars with my toddler. I had enough energy to put Lily down for a nap then eat lunch with Jax. I'm finally feeling capable of giving love and attention to both of my children while still taking care of myself.
I'm so grateful for all the help I've received. I'm so grateful for my beautiful children who need me. I'm grateful that I'm learning that taking care of yourself is an important aspect of taking care of your kids. I'm grateful that I have straight A's somehow right now. I'm grateful I'm getting interviews for full time salaried jobs. I'm grateful that my son loves helping his baby sister and being with her. I'm grateful that I get to graduate in April with my Bachelor's Degree.
I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father is watching over my little family. He has given me the strength, patience, and love necessary for me just to function. He has taken the small effort on my part and has blessed me with great success. Things aren't where I want them to be right now, but I can not complain. My life is amazing. The Lord has made it possible for me to accomplish what I need to in order to take care of my children. I'm an incredibly weak person who struggles constantly, but Heavenly Father has been carrying me and teaching me how to be a much better mother than I would have been otherwise.
How grateful I am for this Gospel. How grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who knows who I am and has been with me during this storm of my life.
Quiet does not happen. Even when it does I take those few moments to clean or just brush my teeth. It's amazing how good brushing your teeth feels when you don't have a toddler hanging on your leg or are bouncing a baby in her seat.
Something interesting has been happening though. When Lily came home from the NICU I was incredibly overwhelmed. Here was this baby hooked up to oxygen and a chest monitor that needed me more than anything. Then here was my toddler who has been struggling and now has this whole other change (as if he didn't have enough) and needed me more than anything too. The idea that I could take care of two kids by myself was laughable. I couldn't even begin to imagine how to get back on a schedule with Jax or even with me. Thankfully I have a great family who stepped up and helped me with my kids while I was still reeling.
Finally something clicked. I was able to give Jax a bath, take care of Lily, AND get ready for the day without any help from my family. I could soothe my baby while playing cars with my toddler. I had enough energy to put Lily down for a nap then eat lunch with Jax. I'm finally feeling capable of giving love and attention to both of my children while still taking care of myself.
I'm so grateful for all the help I've received. I'm so grateful for my beautiful children who need me. I'm grateful that I'm learning that taking care of yourself is an important aspect of taking care of your kids. I'm grateful that I have straight A's somehow right now. I'm grateful I'm getting interviews for full time salaried jobs. I'm grateful that my son loves helping his baby sister and being with her. I'm grateful that I get to graduate in April with my Bachelor's Degree.
I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father is watching over my little family. He has given me the strength, patience, and love necessary for me just to function. He has taken the small effort on my part and has blessed me with great success. Things aren't where I want them to be right now, but I can not complain. My life is amazing. The Lord has made it possible for me to accomplish what I need to in order to take care of my children. I'm an incredibly weak person who struggles constantly, but Heavenly Father has been carrying me and teaching me how to be a much better mother than I would have been otherwise.
How grateful I am for this Gospel. How grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who knows who I am and has been with me during this storm of my life.
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